How to review anime (and why I don’t do it)

How to review anime and not look completely retarded whilst doing so

Okay, you want to know how to review anime. That’s great. However, it ‘s not easy to make a good review as you might think, which is why I’ve never actually finished a review and posted it here. What I’m going to go through can probably be applied to more than just anime, but I’ll try keep it related to anime since everyone likes anime. Right? RIGHT?

The first thing you’ve got to realise is that your audience is probably incompetent, especially if you’re posting your review anywhere on the internet. Remember; anime fans are bad, internet users are bad. That’s twice the usual amounts of bad right off the bat. People aren’t very open minded so if you reveal your conclusion of the anime too early on and they don’t agree with it they’ll stop reading/watching. Start off as neutral as possible and get to your points once you’ve got their interest (most people usually do this by dribbling on about what the anime is about and who it’s by or something).

Right, you’ve hopefully grasped their short attention. What do you do with it? Personally, I’d take a look at what the anime tried to achieve and how well it managed to do that. If it tried to tell an engaging story or do something new, did it? Obviously you’ll need to do deeper than just a yes or no answer, but we’ll get to that later. If it didn’t really try to achieve anything, take a look at it’s target audience and come to a conclusion as to whether or not it pleased that audience. You yourself might not have been that audience, but if it did a good job of appealing to whoever the intended audience is then you should probably praise it. Again, these are opinions but they’re not arguments just yet. You actually have to argue why your opinion is valid at some point. I’m not going to lie, this can be awful. Why can’t plebs just take your word for it already?

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Space Dandy – Sub vs Dub

It’s 2014, so let’s start it with some completely objective comparisons!

[CBM]_Space_Dandy_-_01_-_Live_with_the_flow,_baby_[HDTV-720p-5.1ch][FDC058F6].mkv_snapshot_04.01_[2014.01.05_08.45.53]

Space Dandy is probably the ‘hype show’ of the season (with Shingeki being Spring’s, Kill la Kill being Autumn’s, you get the idea) so naturally expectations are raised. Even more so that Toonami (or Funimation, I don’t know) paid out of the ass to get the world premier. That didn’t quite happen, but still, they made a big risk. Honestly, the trailers have gone on about it so much and how it’s by Watanabe that I thought it was going to be the second coming of Jesus. The first episode was quite weak and certainly a disappointment (like most flavour of the month shows), but there’s potential. Anyway, let’s get back on topic.

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Elitism in the anime community

You elitist fucker, you.

I’d say out of all the communities I’ve seen online, anime can have one of the most elitist. Online, elitism is usually associated with assholes and hipsters and carries this connotation of unpleasantness. Well, you can think what you will of it, but elitism is a good thing. Why settle for mediocrity? If you could pick to have any sort of skill set, surely it would be an elite one like medicine or law, over something like cleaning?

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PROFESSIONAL JOURNALISM

Animated Film Oscars 2014 and shitty journalism.

PRO
This is a joke, right?

I’m sorry, but when I saw this I just had to write about it. Holy shit.

An lackluster slate could bring Walt Disney Animation that elusive first Oscar win

An lackluster? Well, that’s a good start. Looks like they don’t proofread (not like I do, but this isn’t a so-called professional website). Basically I think the idea of the article is to weigh-up the pros and cons of the animated films, and say how much of a chance they stand at winning an Oscar. Now, I don’t actually give a fuck about the Oscars because I think the whole thing is a sham and I don’t care whether or not Rebellion wins (if it does, it’d be funny). Let’s take a look at what they’ve actually said about Rebellion, shall we?

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Crunchyroll and why I refuse to pay for it

Crunchyroll a shit

Recently, I’ve been noticing quite a positive attitude towards Crunchyroll across both the internet and real-life. The general mindset I’ve noticed from the anime community (which, in general, is just a bunch of insufferable cunts) is that by paying for Crunchyroll you’re getting both a good service and are supporting the industry. Wrong.

It’s surprising to believe that anyone goes on this website at all. You either go there as a free user, and get releases a week late in terribly bit-starved 360p video, pay £5 a month for lower quality video and subtitles than fansubs, or use their overpriced store. I really don’t see the appeal. I’m not sure if there are a lot of retarded people in the community, or if they’re just simply unaware that there are better alternatives. I’m going to go over many aspects of CR, including subtitle quality, video quality, pricing and how much you’re actually supporting the industry by paying for the ‘service’. I’ll then be comparing all of this to the alternative options that are available to you.

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Leeds Film Festival Anime Day

Fanomenon Anime Day

This is my little write-up of the films I saw throughout the day. 3 of the 6 are completely new (unless you’ve been watching camrips or went to France/Japan!). Overall the day was pretty good. I know some other /a/nons were there. Probably the fat ones and fedorables. Heh.

Akira

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Madoka Magica – Movie 3 – The Rebellion Story

[Watchable] Puella Magi Madoka Magica – Movie 3 – The Rebellion Story [EN-US 1280×720 CAMRIP v2][EC04C308].mkv

Well, shit. It finally got subbed.

Madoka Magica Rebellion
WHO HOMU HERE?

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